Things I Miss About America, Part X: No Butter on Sandwiches

I first encountered butter on sandwiches when I was living in East Africa. The housegirl of the family I lived with in Nairobi would never let me do any of my own cooking, even if it was something as simple as a sandwich. So, when I asked her to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (more accurately, when she kicked me out of the kitchen after attempting to make my own), it would be delivered to me as a peanut butter and jelly and regular butter sandwich. I thought this was a weird East African custom because, when I moved to Uganda, I found butter on sandwiches there as well. Upon my arrival in the UK, however, I learned that East Africa had actually adopted this odd habit from its colonizers.

In London, you’ll be hard pressed to find a sandwich without butter on it. Ham and Cheese? Nope. Ham and cheese and butter. Turkey? Nope. Turkey and butter. I guess I could understand butter on its own in sandwiches, but they’ll often start with butter and then add mayonnaise or mustard on top of it. I just don’t get it. To me, butter doesn’t have much of a taste, so what are you getting out of it (other than the obvious extra calories)?

I’m looking forward to moving back to the states where I can order a ham sandwich without having to say “no butter please”.

Things I Miss About America, Part IX: Prudishness

I have always considered myself a liberal-minded and forward thinking American. Legalize prostitution? Sure, that way we can regulate it and curb STIs and sex trafficking. Legalize marijuana? Sure, it has proven medical benefits and is only illegal because of movements by American uber powerful tobacco lobby anyways. Legalize same-sex marriage? Oh, don’t even get me started on how much I support that one.

I was recently reading my favourite fashion magazines, Grazia (I love it because they have just off the runway stuff side-by-side with stuff I can actually afford and throw in a bit of celebrity gossip and womens’ rights news to boot) when I happened upon a picture of Sharon Stone on the cover of the French magazine Match. You may have heard that on this cover she is topless. Now, I really wanted to not care. I really wanted to applaud her for being 50-something and looking fabulous. But, I didn’t feel that way- I actually felt uncomfortable and slightly offended. It actually made me think “gee, I wish I were in America where they would have censored out her nipples!” It’s not really that she’s topless; it’s that she’s topless in a pornographic way in a magazine that is no way pornographic. I find it offensive for the same reason I find the Page 3 (topless) girls in the Sun (a newspaper in London) offensive- because why do there need to be naked girls in a newspaper (where just any unsuspecting child or, in some cases, 25-year-old American girl can come by and pick it up)?!?!

So, if living in Europe for two years has taught me anything, it has taught me that, at my core, I’m puritanical and prudish. Believe me, I’ve tried to fight this. I oh so badly want to be European and not care that there are naked pictures of women printed in scandalous positions in even reputable publications. I really want to not care that every beach I go to is packed with completely naked French/Spanish/Greek men. I want to think that nude men standing in the middle of Trafalgar Square really is art. But, in the end, I can’t help it. I’m American. Nudity makes me uncomfortable and I find it inappropriate in most public circumstances. I don’t say anything to Europeans of course (because they would give me that “sad little American” look and toss their hand-rolled cigarette at me), but I still feel that way! I’m not British, I’m American. And even though our two societies are very similar in some ways, my country was still founded by puritans. So, my new outlook is to just embrace it.

Things I Miss About America, Part VII: Drinking Soda Directly From A Can

Ok, so this may seem like an odd thing to miss about the states, and to tell you the truth it's taken me nearly a year and a half to realize it, but no one drinks soda directly from the can here!!

At my office, we have an unlimited free supply of coke and diet coke (very dangerous), so if one person is going to the kitchen, they will often bring back sodas for everyone.  However, upon their return, they have brought not only a can of coke but also an accompanying glass.  I always thought this was very nice but extremely unnecessary of them.  I would open the coke, drinking directly from the can, and then put the glass to the side to be used for water later.  

When I, however, was the one traveling to the kitchen to get cokes, I never brought anyone a glass.  I just never saw it as a necessity.  I've now realized that this was extremely rude of me, because British people seem to HATE drinking soda directly from the can.  

If Bobby were here, he could tell you a nice little anecdote about the time he was traveling up the elevator to his office drinking a Coke directly from the can and a British woman scolded him, telling him that no one should drink from cans because of the amount of rat feces that accumulates on them over time.  Now, i'm not sure if this is the belief of all British people (for example, my British friend has informed me that all British people know that a swan can break your arm and are therefore terrified of them) or just that of this one seemingly crazy lady, but regardless the aversion to drinking from a can seems to be country-wide. 

I do not plan on beginning to use a glass any time soon (to tell you the truth, i've eaten things worse than rat feces in my life), but I will now be more thoughtful when getting sodas for others.   

Things I Miss About America, Part VI: Mac n Cheese

The closest thing i've been able to find here:

Thats right, "Macaroni Cheese" in a can. It's not Macaroni AND Cheese, it's just Macaroni Cheese. Who would try such a disgusting looking product, you ask? Why, me of course. And it was just as disgusting as you would have guessed. Oh, how I long for the blue box.

Why not just make my own Mac n Cheese from scratch? A) What do I look like, a chef? B) Is Mac n Cheese really Mac n Cheese if the cheese begins in its original block form? Give me the powder/goo over the block any day. C) If I could make it from scratch, you would be less tempted to send me care packages filled with boxes of Velveeta Shells n Cheese. Right?

Things I Miss About America, Part V: People Exercising in Excericse Clothes

When I got here, I joined a women's-only gym because it was the closest one to my house. Right away, I noticed that women there didn't really work out in what I would consider "workout clothes". Here's why-


My average workout-wear:

athletic shorts

t-shirt

sports bra (sometimes multiple)

socks

sporty tennis shoes


British woman's average workout-wear:

sweatpants

a shirt that I would wear to go clubbing in or, sometimes, a short-sleeved polo

normal bra (ouch!!)

socks

non-sporty tennis shoes (think bright-green pumas or the like)


The difference I noticed right away was the lack of sports bras. Not that I was looking, but its kind of hard not to notice when you're the only one running on a string of 10 treadmills in proper undergarments. Slowly, it became apparent that it wasn't just the sports bras that were missing. Why is the girl next to me on the elliptical in a sequin tube top?? At first, I thought it was just my women's-only gym. Maybe 40 year-old Bangladeshi women don't realize that you can buy sports bras? But girls my age in the gym were wearing odd clothing as well. Also, at lunch time in the park, I noticed people running in what appeared to be just slight alterations to their office-clothing.

After talking to bobby, I found that this odd-workout clothing phenomenon applies to men as well. I have no explanation for it. You can buy workout clothes here. Just like in the states, there are whole stores dedicated to that very subject, but people seem to ignore them.

*note, as in the majority of my blogs on cultural differences, this does not apply to all british women. I am, flagrantly, making generalizations about an entire culture. Some women do wear sports bras and work out in t-shirts instead of a see-through tank-top, but I would say it's about 50/50*

Things I miss about America, Part IV: Air-conditioning in the Metro/Tube

Air-conditioning, something I truly loved about D.C’s metro system without even realizing it. Because, what underground system in the modern world would not have air-con?? Well, London’s, as it turns out.

For those of you who know London, you know that it actually doesn’t get very hot in this city. We’re much farther north than I had ever realized. I actually looked it up the other day because, all of a sudden, it started staying light out until 10:30 pm and becoming light again at 4:30 am. Strange, I thought, until I referred to a map.

As it turns out, London is more inline with Northern Canada than it is with New York, as I had mistakenly thought. Anyways, I digress. Since it’s not incredibly warm in the summers in this city, I guess the London Transport Authority never really saw the need to air-condition or even ventilate its underground system in any way. The problem with this? When you get thousands of people in a little hole under ground, it gets pretty darn hot. In addition, when you then cram those thousands of people all onto the same train, it becomes even hotter.

For those of you who really know me, you’ll know this is an extreme problem due to my tendency to faint on the Metro when it gets too crowded/hot. It has happened to me an embarrassing number of times in my life. I’ve gotten into the habit of lying to people and saying I’m pregnant, because, lets face it, a pregnant woman fainting on the metro is much less weird than some random girl fainting on the metro. The temperature on an average London Tube train makes my already hellish commute even worse.

The good news, the Mayor of London (who I have hated up until this announcement) recently said that London would start introducing air-con into the trains by 2010. Unfortunately, not on any of the lines that I regularly ride, but hey, it’s a start. Until then, I’ll take advantage of the free bottled water they’ve started handing out in the Tube on really hot days and keep trying to strategically place myself near the much coveted 2 ventilation holes on the train.

Things I Miss About America, Part III: Open Space

Don't get me wrong, England as a whole has plenty of open space, but London is by far the most crowded city I’ve ever seen. I didn’t realize how much I missed open space until Bobby and I went to Oxford last weekend with a few friends from London and, instead of commenting on all the beautiful old buildings, we just kept talking about how much SPACE there was everywhere. We went into a Starbucks that had two stories and I almost had to sit down I was so blown away at how big it was. In reality, it was probably just a normal sized Starbucks, but I’m so used to all the tiny shops in London, that even normal sized rooms impress me.

There are just people EVERYWHERE in this city. When I first got here and didn’t have a job, I only rode the tube at non-rush-hour times and therefore thought it was the best public transportation system in the world. The train would come ever 2-3 minutes and I could almost always get a seat. My first day of work, I went down to the tube platform at 8:30 and there were, literally, 200 other people on that platform. I had to wait for 12 trains to come and go before I could get on one. This, as it turns out, is a pretty normal day on the London underground system. If I get on and don’t have to cram in like a sardine and push myself up against the wall, I think that it’s a great day. If I get a SEAT, well, I’ve never gotten a seat during rush-hour so I don’t even know what that feels like. It’s not that there’s a lack of trains. One train comes every one minute, there are just that many PEOPLE.

As some of you know, London is a very Green city in the sense that it has lots of parks. But, when I got to Green Park, right across the street form my building, at lunch, I almost have to fight to get a spot on the grass. I just can’t get away from people in this city.

This “can’t get away from people” feeling continues at home where bobby and I share a very tiny flat. In truth, the size of the flat wouldn’t be that bad, it’s just the fact that we only have one piece of furniture on which you can sit in our apartment- a love seat. This means that any time bobby and I are both sitting down, we’re sitting directly next to each other. Now, I love bobby, but I would really love to be in the same room as him and not be sitting on the same piece of furniture. That would be great.

I was talking to my friend Nishant at lunch the other day and came to the odd realization that I miss Yorktown Virginia. I miss driving 15 minutes to the grocery store, I miss walking around and not seeing another person, I miss the quite. While I really love living in London right now, I don’t think I could ever live in a city forever. I really do need my space.

Things I Miss About American, Part II: Mexican Food

Bobby and I went to a meeting of American Ex-Pats last week. I was expecting to talk to everyone about the US Democratic Primary race and was ready to defend my support of Hillary, however, I ended up talking to no one about that subject but did talk to about 12 different people about how London how no decent Mexican food. Oh how I miss it. And, as it turns out, i'm not alone.

Bobby and I have found one REALLY good Mexican restaurant. But, while it is VERY good, it's upscale authentic Mexican, and that's not what I really miss. What I miss is that hole-in-the-wall Mexican food. You know how every town has that Mexican restaurant whose name starts with El and whose menu is numbered 1 - 64? Yeah, thats what I miss. I miss my taco salad with chicken.

We've explored quite a few very BAD Mexican restaurants in our quest of find a decent burrito. What we've determined is that the lack of any good Mexican food is due to two factors: 1- There are very few (if any) Mexicans in London and 2- You can't get the products needed to produce good Mexican food here. Let's discuss:

1- There are very few (if any) Mexicans in London. Now, this is obviously a gross generalization. But, while i've met people from all over the world in this city (including many Latin American countries), I have yet to meet someone from Mexico and i'm not convinced that the chefs at these so called 'Mexican Restaurants' are, in fact, Mexican. As I discussed in an earlier post, we have been impressed at how authentic the European and Asian food is in this city. However, I wouldn't be surprised if you found a bunch of Italians or Indians in the kitchens at the Mexican Restaurants here (while it would be the exact opposite in the states).

2- You can't get the products needed to produce good Mexican food here. This, is not a generalization. One problem you face when trying to reproduce Mexican food is the lack of a variety in the cheese department. They basically have one type of cheese here: cheddar. It comes in different types (ie, mild, strong, aged, etc), but its all just cheddar. Sometimes, if we're lucky, we can find some feta or mozzarella in the grocery store, but if you wanted something like monteray jack, well, just forget about it. Another problem you face is the fact that they don't have tortilla chips here. They have dorritos and sometimes we can find the just plain old salted variety that come close to American tortilla chips, but, when we've ordered Nachos in restaurants, we've usually gotten Cool Ranch Dorritos covered in melted cheddar. Gross. Another problem Bobby and I face when cooking Mexican food is the lack of ground meats. At home, we would always make burritos with ground chicken or turkey (since I avoid beef) but here, you can't find it. They do offer ground beef, along with ground pork and lamb, so we usually opt for the pork, but its just not the same.

Now, when I come home to visit and just want to go to El (fill in the blank) for every meal, you'll understand why.

Things I Miss About America Part 1: Washing Machines and Dryers

So, because everyone keeps asking and because i've been here 5 months now and feel that I can start talking about it, i've decided to do a series of blogs on the things I miss about the states. Also, because Bobby tells me we need to blog more so that more people read the blog (doesn't really make sense to me, but whatever). This series of posts may also seem odd considering the fact that the place I lived before London was rural Uganda, so really how can I complain? But being in London almost makes it harder. In Uganda you expect to not be able to find good cookies in a grocery store, but in London? I've been surprised by the number of differences two countries so similar (the US and the UK) can have.

Anyways, here we go.


Things I miss about America, Part I: Washing Machines and Dryers

Don't get me wrong, we do have a washing machine and dryer, (Let me correct myself, we have a washing machine/dryer, it's one unit) but maybe after a little description you'll understand why i've come to loathe it.

1. The Machine itself is TINY. To begin with, this devil of a machine can carry a load about the size of my head. I can fit approximately 3 t-shirts and 1 pair of pants (or, as the brits would say, trousers) in at any time. What does this mean? We do a load of laundry almost every day. Yesterday (Sunday) I did two loads. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but if you keep reading you'll see why having to do this amount of laundry has start to drive me crazy. Now, as I write this I realize that this point of view is very American of me. As an American, I want things bigger and I want household chores to be easier. But really, if you're going to have a washer/dryer anyways, why not make one that holds a decent size load?

This is pretty much what our washer/dryer looks like. Now, imagine putting your hand over the glass circle and it taking up the entire space. That's the size you're dealing with. The opening doesn't get any wider once you open the door (like American washers do) the entire thing is the size of that glass circle and it only has a depth of about a foot. So yeah, like I said, tiny.

2. It takes FOREVER. This is, perhaps, the most annoying aspect of this machine. One load of laundry takes approximately 5 hours. I am not exaggerating here, it really does take 5 hours. The wash cycle alone takes about 3.5 and the dryer about 2 (at which point the clothes usually still aren't dry and you have to stick them back in for another hour or so). I really miss my American 30 minute wash cycle. What does this mean? Because of #1 you have to do many loads of laundry, but you can only usually do one load per day because of a combination of #2 and.....

3. It's loud as crap. Sometimes, I think an airplane is taking off in our flat, but no, it's just the dryer going. This is annoying not only because well, loud things are generally annoying, but also because we can't do laundry at night. This would be a nice way to combat "reasons I hate the washing machine" numbers 1 and 2, but alas, we are stuck with doing loads only during the day and only when we're not trying to do something that requires any form of concentration.

4. Everything comes out HORRIBLY wrinkly. I said that #2 was the most annoying thing about the washing machine, but this is by far more annoying. Why? Because I have to iron EVERYTHING. Yesterday I spent the afternoon ironing my jeans (really, who irons jeans?) and, if bobby let me, I would iron his undershirts. If you think this is strange, I don't think you quite understand the level of wrinkliness that this machine produces. I don't know if its because it's just so darn tiny or because it doesn't use any fancy products (like dryer-sheets), but my jeans come out looking like someone tied them into a series of tiny knots and let them sit like that for about a year. Ironing everything is completely necessary, which is why we've come to rely on dry cleaners much more, despite their ridiculous prices. It's worth $6 to me to not try to get all of those wrinkles out of bobby's dress pants.

So there are, I think, some very good reasons as to why I hate our washer/dryer and miss the amazing laundry world in America where a load of laundry doesn't take you all day. One day we'll return to that world but, until then, bobby and I will become very good at wearing things over and over again.