Things I Miss About America, Part IX: Prudishness

I have always considered myself a liberal-minded and forward thinking American. Legalize prostitution? Sure, that way we can regulate it and curb STIs and sex trafficking. Legalize marijuana? Sure, it has proven medical benefits and is only illegal because of movements by American uber powerful tobacco lobby anyways. Legalize same-sex marriage? Oh, don’t even get me started on how much I support that one.

I was recently reading my favourite fashion magazines, Grazia (I love it because they have just off the runway stuff side-by-side with stuff I can actually afford and throw in a bit of celebrity gossip and womens’ rights news to boot) when I happened upon a picture of Sharon Stone on the cover of the French magazine Match. You may have heard that on this cover she is topless. Now, I really wanted to not care. I really wanted to applaud her for being 50-something and looking fabulous. But, I didn’t feel that way- I actually felt uncomfortable and slightly offended. It actually made me think “gee, I wish I were in America where they would have censored out her nipples!” It’s not really that she’s topless; it’s that she’s topless in a pornographic way in a magazine that is no way pornographic. I find it offensive for the same reason I find the Page 3 (topless) girls in the Sun (a newspaper in London) offensive- because why do there need to be naked girls in a newspaper (where just any unsuspecting child or, in some cases, 25-year-old American girl can come by and pick it up)?!?!

So, if living in Europe for two years has taught me anything, it has taught me that, at my core, I’m puritanical and prudish. Believe me, I’ve tried to fight this. I oh so badly want to be European and not care that there are naked pictures of women printed in scandalous positions in even reputable publications. I really want to not care that every beach I go to is packed with completely naked French/Spanish/Greek men. I want to think that nude men standing in the middle of Trafalgar Square really is art. But, in the end, I can’t help it. I’m American. Nudity makes me uncomfortable and I find it inappropriate in most public circumstances. I don’t say anything to Europeans of course (because they would give me that “sad little American” look and toss their hand-rolled cigarette at me), but I still feel that way! I’m not British, I’m American. And even though our two societies are very similar in some ways, my country was still founded by puritans. So, my new outlook is to just embrace it.